Origami
by Mangolgo
Summary: In the aftermath of the Oto-Suna Invasion, the newly minted Godaime Hokage must deal with a string of deaths linked only by an ominous calling card, all whilst hounded by an uncooperative village and even worse Council. AU. Oneshot.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.**

 **Origami**

* * *

The wizened matron knelt with a slight twitch, unable to completely ignore the painful twinge in her knees and back.

"What's wrong little one?"

Startled, the child looked away, furtively wiping away tears. Such a blatant show of emotion was unbecoming of a shinobi.

The matron, accustomed to dealing with children at the orphanage, changed tactics.

"Would you like to see something amazing?"

The child looked at her warily, and nodded slowly.

The matron pulled out a small square of paper from her pocket and began folding rapidly with one hand.

The matron held out her hand palm up with the transformed paper. "Tada!"

A tiny origami fox stared back at the wide-eyed child.

"Go ahead. It's for you."

The child very carefully picked up the small fox, wide eyes following every crease and corner.

"Would you like to learn how to do that?"

The child nodded vigorously, the sadness now forgotten.

"Well, my old bones can't stand the cold so well, so why don't we leave this dreary snow behind for some place with a bit of warmth and tea?" The matron held out a well-creased hand.

The child eagerly took it and the matron began leading her away.

"Remember little one, sometimes you have to make your own happiness."

The child never forgot that lesson.

* * *

Tsunade peered into the cramped cell. Pottery shards and splintered wood littered every surface. It wasn't a stretch to imagine how the former occupant had little chance of surviving the explosion, if the blood pool that had filled the cell floor and subsequently flowed out into the hall before drying in a dark crust didn't give it away first.

"-rly reports indicate it was a botched attempt by Otogakure operatives to reclaim Orochimaru's known accomplice. We believe they used an improper explosive seal grade to blast the cell door's lock open."

"Or maybe an old teammate prefers to tie up loose ends," Tsunade muttered, "Were there any other injured or casualties?"

Ibiki glanced down at the report in his hand. "No. This cell block is transfer holding only. This... Mizuki, no surname... was slated for transfer over to Strict Correctional immediately after the Chunin exams concluded."

Tsunade grunted. No love lost for a traitor shacking up with another traitor. She turned to leave and waved a hand at the mess.

"Get this place cleaned up. Can't have any part of the Hokage tower looking like a dump, even if its the dungeon."

Tsunande managed to take three steps away before something small and bright next to another cell door caught her eye. She leaned over for a better look.

"Huh."

The two-inch tall origami fox ignored her confusion and continued its vigil of Mizuki's ruined cell.

"Hokage-sama! We have an emergency! Uchiha Sasuke has been reported missing! "

"Damn brat." She angrily shoved the little fox into a pocket and hurried off.

* * *

"Hinata-chan?"

"N-Naruto-kun!" The Hyuuga heiress spun from the vase of flowers she'd been fussing over to see the blond rubbing his eyes.

"What are you doing here?" The blond, struggling awkwardly, stuffed another pillow behind his head to better see his visitor.

Hinata's eyes fell away and pushed her fingers together nervously. "Umm... I heard you were injured on your mission, so I came by to see how you were doing."

Naruto mentally added Hinata to his list of precious people. An incredibly short, but precious, list.

"Really? You came to see how I was doing?" The blond boy laughed lightly. "Thanks Hinata-chan. I don't think anyone's ever visited me when I got put in here before, except Iruka-sensei and Hokage-jiji."

Naruto gave her a smile. Hinata responded by blushing.

"I-I heard about your mission to retrieve Uchiha-san from Kiba-kun. Co-congratulations on your success, Naruto kun."

"Thanks, Hinata-chan. Everyone really worked their butts off, that's for sure, even if we got smacked around a bit!" His smile widened into a goofy grin.

The Hyuuga Heiress's slight blush turned crimson. He was positively _radiant_ in the morning light.

"A-are you thirsty? You were asleep so very long. I-I'll go get you s-some water!" Hinata grabbed the pitcher and fled the room, already feeling dangerously light-headed.

Naruto scratched his head. "Huh. Weird girl. Cute. But weird."

* * *

"Repeat that again. Slowly." Tsunade gripped the council table, and it gave out a low series of groans, hairline cracks racing out across it from beneath her white-knuckled hands.

"The civilian council believes Genin Uzumaki Naruto used excessive force in his retrieval of the last Uchiha, as such we unanimously advise he be assigned appropriate punishment." Homura Mitokado stated.

"...The civilian council has no authority in regards to shinobi under my command. The boy carried out his orders to the letter, and the mission itself was a success. What more do you want?" she ground out.

"Hokage-sama... in the case of contentious issues such as this, a clan head may raise the motion. Should there be enough backing from both the clan heads and the civilian leaders the Hokage may be overruled." This was from Koharu Utatane

Tsunade clenched her jaw and let go of the table. "Who raised this motion?"

"I did." Tsunade whipped around at the flat tones of Hyuuga Hiashi.

"If Genin Uzumaki had properly allocated those under his command when it came time for combat with the enemy Otogakure no Sato shinobi, my heir would not have come to such grevious harm."

"Your... heir? Not heiress?"

"Hinata is no longer the primary successor. My nephew, Hyuuga Neji is. The Caged Birl Seal is being applied to her as we speak, as per clan tradition. My younger daughter will remain unsealed, as her status as secondary successor remains unchanged."

Pushing down her disgust, Tsunade replayed the previous annoucement in her mind.

"But Naruto wasn't the designated mission leader, Nara Shikamaru was... " She trailed off as realization hit her and she leveled her gaze at the various clan heads.

"So that's how it is? You'll sacrifice one orphan boy for your collective reputation. Is that it?"

Tsume sniffed. "Boy was bottom of his class. Village knows him as a pain-in-the-ass, loud-mouth prankster. You remember the Second and Third Wars, Hokage-sama... it takes more than a little guts and a dream to be a true shinobi. In a roundabout way, we're saving that brat's life."

Tsunade was outnumbered here and she knew it.

 _Fuck. Why did I take the hat?_

* * *

Jiraya stared out across the village. Every time he came back it felt a little less like home. The number of people binding him to this place was dropping fast.

He heard the door open as someone stepped in the office.

Tsunade joined him in his silent vigil.

"How bad?"

"They've generously decided not to toss him to rot in prison."

Killing intent flooded the room until Tsunade gently slipped her hand into his.

He had left his hidden alcove before the council fools began discussing punishments. He'd felt fairly certain that if he stayed any longer, future guests would ask why the council chamber was unevenly painted rusty brown and always smelled a little coppery.

"What else?"

"He'll be dishonorably discharged. His name will be struck from the general roster and records, his files will be sealed, and he'll be banned for life from wearing the Konoha hitai-ate."

"The other genin?"

"-Are celebrating the Uchiha boy's return. Without Naruto."

Jiraya's head dropped. "Sensei would be ashamed."

"This place has changed." A _nd not for the better_.

"The Hyuuga head also said... the former Hyuuga heiress was branded with the clan juinjutsu ."

Jiraya punched the wall with a low growl. Tsunade grimaced.

"I was there the whole night, you know. In the hospital room, to make sure none of the nurses added any 'extra' medication to his drip. You should have seen the way they look at him. He doesn't deserve this. Neither of them deserve this." He ranted.

Tsunade loosely wrapped her arms around Jiraya, leaning her head on his shoulder.

"I know... I know."

* * *

If Naruto was angry when Tsunade informed him the council had put an end to his dream of a ninja career and thusly any eventual wearing of the Hokage hat, he'd gone downright nuclear when Jiraya told him what had happened to Hinata. The boy stormily summoned a thousand bunshin to ferret out one of his precious people.

"Hinata!? Hinataaa!?

The girl in question blinked away her tears, looking owlishly to the source of the voice.

The blond tore through the undergrowth anxiously.

"There you are! They kicked me out of the hospital already, so I came to see you instead! How are you doing, Hinata-chan?" He made a point to ignore the neatly wrapped bandages covering her forehead.

She backed away, shrieking, "D-don't look at m-me! I'm a f-failure. A g-g-good for n-nothing!" She turned to jump away.

She was panicking. She was going to get away.

Without a thought, Naruto clamped her into a tight hug from behind. It'd be pretty hard for her to run if he was holding onto her, and maybe he could help her get a little calmed down. "Shh! It's okay, its okay, don't cry... Everything'll be fine, I've got you. And you've got me, right? So we'll always have each other." He assured her over and over while stroking her hair.

She clung tightly onto his jacket and sobbed into his chest, shoulders shaking.

Hinata managed to quiet down after a few minutes, and feeling something strange, spoke up in a very soft whisper.

"N-Naruto-kun... are you crying? There is something wet... on m-my neck...?"

She was mortified when the blond went rigid, and moments ticked by in silence, until he finally relaxed and spoke.

"Nah, it's uh, just sprinkling a bit. You know how summer in Konoha is... crazy rain falling out of a clear sky. It's just crazy raining a bit. On my face," Naruto found he couldn't let go of Hinata, lest she see his horribly red face and puffy eyes. It was worth it when he felt her shoulders start shaking in laughter.

Tsunade and Jiraya both smiled as they peek from behind the bushes and a mild genjutsu.

"Aw, nice string-pulling, you old pervert. They'll be a boon for each other. Maybe you do have a good side to you, after all."

"But Hime, every side is a good side!" he whined quietly.

Tsunade snorted and gave his guts a chakra-powered poke.

* * *

"Oi! Get up brat!" Jiraya shouted at the blond.

"Ugggh. Go away ero-sennin. I'm sleepin'."

"Oh, okay. I guess I'll just go on this Super Secret Awesome Roadtrip to defeat Bad Guys and Save the World without you. I won't even have to bother myself with teaching you any _awesome_ jutsu or tell you long, detailed stories about your family. So go ahead and keep sleeping. See you around, brat."

There was complete silence in the apartment as Naruto's brain cells rubbed together in a frenzy to compute Jiraya's words, before all hell broke loose.

A dozen clones exploded from the room and frantically skittered around to seal away Naruto's meager possessions. The boy himself struggled to jam on a clean change of clothes.

"Wait up! At least let me tell Hinata-chan I'm leaving!"

* * *

"Hinata, I know you're no longer the Hyuuga clan heiress, but you are still a shinobi under my command. I've looked over your performance evaluations in the Chunin Exams. I've decided to begin a pilot program for an official iryojutsu corps... Are you interested?"

Hinata pale eyes widened a fraction, and she nodded vigorously. "I would be honored, Hokage-sama."

Tsunade grinned inwards. A little reverence never hurt.

"If I may be so bold... may I ask how long it will to reach full iryonin certification?"

Tsunade glanced down at the pile of proposals on her desk. "Based on your perfomance records, I'd estimate two to three years tops, not including any field duty, hospital, or clinic rotations, whatever you may prefer. If, and when, you are ready is up to my discretion, in all honesty."

Hinata bowed. "I am in your care sensei."

Tsunade smiled, just a little. "I'm not here to hold your hand, girl. Call me shishou."

* * *

Tsunade canceled her diagnostic jutsu on the very rigid corpse of Councilor Homura. She bent over to get a good look at the man's face. Now he was as stiff in death as he'd been in life.

"Looks like time finally caught up with you, you old goat." She muttered, closing his eyes with one hand.

Standing straight, she surveyed the councilor's bedroom. The man had stopped working at the writing desk and had made it halfway to the door when his heart failed him. He'd fallen to the floor, one hand still locked in the rictus of death where he'd vainly clutched at his chest. The other hand, however, lay outstretched, one finger uncurled to point beneath the desk he'd left.

Tsunade pulled out the chair from his desk, eyes searching low. She blew out a long, low breath.

A tiny paper fox stared out silently.

Tsunade picked up the fingernail-sized green fox and the pulled out the rumpled orange one from her coat for comparison.

She felt sick. They might have a serial killer in the village. Was it much worse that evidence conveniently pointed to Naruto, absent as he was, as the perpetrator?

"Shishou, may we remove Councilor Homura now?" A voice asked from behind her.

Tsunade jumped slightly, quickly slipping the pair of foxes into her pocket.

She turned to see her apprentice waiting patiently in the doorway. "Is... something wrong? Shishou?"

"No, Hinata. Everything's fine. I'm finished here." Tsunade chewed her lower lip. "Cause of death is... age-related acute myocardial infarction. No significant complications."

Hinata brushed her long indigo hair over one shoulder and scribbled onto her clipboard. "I'll notify the Councilor's family so that they may begin funeral preparations. I will process the remaining paperwork before returning to the Tower, so please proceed without me, shishou."

"Thanks Hinata. I'll head back first then. What a day to be dry..."

"Please take care, shishou," Hinata bowed gently at Tsunade's retreating form.

* * *

"-ter damiyo. The unknown ninja, presumably rogue as he bore no marks of affiliation, dispatched the remaining rebels with at least several unidentifiable jutsu. Unfortunately, since the rogue nin was the one that killed the rebels, the daimyo chose to reward him with the lion's share of the payment... Hokage-sama? Are you even listening?"

Tsunade blinked at the pink haired kunoichi.

"Of course I was, girl."

In truth, she hadn't. Her already-inundated desk had been seeing increasing reports of this hooded, masked, stranger running about and intervening in various _delicate_ political situations.

She snapped her thoughts back to the present. "Were you able to collect any information on the damiyo's mysterious benefactor?"

"No," Kiba answered. "His whole head was covered, a hood and a blank ANBU mask or something, so we didn't even get a glimpse of his face. Bastard had every inch of skin covered, to boot. Akamaru said he smelled familiar, but couldn't pin it down."

"He also met with the damiyo after the battle. We were unable to ascertain the contents of the meeting, nor could I break any of the privacy seals he lined the room with," Kakashi added from behind his little orange book.

"Tsk," Tsunade frowned. "Unfortunately, part of the mission was to receive the payment funds directly from the client. Your pay will therefore be adjusted to reflect the actual retrieved total."

"Hey, you can't do that! The clans-" Kiba began.

"The clans will do what? Force me to pay you with money that I don't have? You're all jounin, for Kami's sake. Act like it!" Tsunade shot back. Kiba fell back, chagrined.

Tsunade rubbed her temples. After the initial incident over Naruto, the council had taken to overruling her decisions on a regular basis, rendering the Hokage to little more than a glorified one man (or woman, in Tsunade's case) rubber stamp. She would have vacated the position long ago, but chose to stay for her quiet little Hyuuga apprentice.

She tilted her head to look at the last Uchiha, who appeared to be brooding about more than usual.

"And what chip's on your shoulder today, brat?"

"Requesting permission to hunt and capture the rogue nin we encountered," Sasuke stated.

"Last time I checked, you weren't on our oinin roster. Denied."

Before Sasuke could argue, Tsunade held up her hand. "Whoever he is, if he didn't have an in with the daimyo before, he certainly does now. That said, if we capture one of the damiyo's friends without probable cause, we run the risk of causing an international incident, not to mention pissing off the nation that directly funds the bulk of our missions. Dismissed."

As a frustrated Team 7 moved to leave, the door opened and Tsunade's apprentice stepped in.

Kiba leered at the porcelain beauty.

"Hinata-baby, I've got a new Beast-style jutsu I wanna show you... in private, if you get what I mean," he waggled his eyebrows.

Hinata glided past him without missing a beat.

"Drop dead, Kiba." Her smile was small, tight, and frosty. Kiba sputtered while the rest of Team 7 snickered.

"Heh. We'll see if you can keep up this attitude of yours on our marriage night."

Hinata whirled, eyes boring into the Inuzuka.

"And who has said that I am to marry you?" She asked, deadly calm.

"Ha! With a little loan from my clan, I saved up enough to buy your marriage contract from your old man. It got real cheap after your old man dropped you from succession, so you'll be all mine before you know it. I'm clan heir, so being my wife will be loads better than whatever this is that you're doing."

Hinata went rigid in shock. Seeing an opportunity, Kiba snaked his arms around her shoulders and attempted to push his lips onto hers.

Tsunade was half way out of her seat, one manicured fist already clenched and cocked when a voice called out. "I believe your advances are unwelcome."

Something _solid_ connected with the Inuzaka heir's face, flipping him through the air before he smacked into the far wall. Kiba slid into an unconcious pile on the floor.

The rest of Team 7 reacted instinctively; lightning chakra pooled out of Sasuke's hand, tendrils of a genjutsu wove out from Sakura, and Kakashi had tensed, Sharingan uncovered and a kunai in each hand.

The hooded, masked nin. The bastard had dared to follow them back to Konoha, and assault them right under the Hokage's nose.

"Enough." A deep, chakra-laced voice rattled the room and Jiraya stepped into the office.

"He's with me. The rest of you get out. Take dog boy with you."

"Jiraiya-sama, he assautled my teammate without-" Kakashi began

"No. He stopped an unwanted sexual advance. Given how close dog boy was to successs and _your_ complete lack of intervention, I'd say he applied the correct amount of force." Kakashi frowned.

"But he is a dangero-" Sasuke argued

"Don't be stupid. I know exactly how dangerous he is. I trained him, after all," Jiraya cut off the fuming Uchiha. "Now scram, all of you!"

Kakashi shook his head, pulling his hitai-ate back down disappearing in a swirl of shunshin, leaving Sakura to sigh and aid Sasuke in unceremoniously dragging their bloodied teammate from the Hokage's office.

The stranger pulled his cloak hood down, then pulled his mask off.

Tsunade stared at the blond ghost. "... Minato?"

"Close, but not quite." The blond favored her with a faint smile. "I inherited Dad's devilishly good looks, but the irresistably roguish charm is 110% Uzumaki Naruto."

He held his arms out wide, "Its good to see you again, Baa-chan."

"Modest as ever, boy," Tsunade chuckled as she embraced Naruto.

Naruto stepped back and turned to a stunned Hinata, who had been staring silently at him the whole time.

"Hinata-chan... its been a long time. Too long." He smiled.

"Naruto-kun?" Hinata whispered.

"In the flesh!" He held out his arms before a blur of dark blue flew into him.

"Hinata-chan/Naruto-kun! I've missed you so much!" They both stopped before looking at each other shyly and burst out laughing.

"Kami make it stop," Jiraya groaned, slapping his own forehead. "It's so sweet my teeth are hurting. Or maybe that's just my pancreas shutting down."

The pair blushed, stepping apart as Tsunade smacked the back of Jiraiya's head.

"Let them have their moment, you old pervert," she scolded, vainly fighting the smirk curling up her lips.

"Yeah, yeah, I got it... yeesh," Jiraya rubbed his skull gingerly. "Here, Naruto," he held out a slip of paper to Naruto.

"What's this, ero-sennin?"

"Good acquaintance of mine. Runs a five star resort right here in Konoha and knows the 'ninja' meaning of privacy. Take your cute girlfriend out and show her a good time. I'll do the dirty ol' debrief with Hime-sama while you get... reacquainted."

Before the two could respond, Tsunade abruptly shoved a red-faced Hinata into a sputtering Naruto.

"Go on, girl," Tsunade urged. "Take the afternoon off. You've earned it."

A blushing Hinata snaked her fingers around Naruto's and led the grinning blond out the doors.

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" Jiraya barked out as the door slammed shut.

Tsunade shook her head, hands deftly rolling through a sequence of seals to activate the security seals lining the office.

"At last, some privacy," Tsunade groaned as she sank back into her chair.

Jiraya plopped into the visitor chair across from her, unfurling a small scroll on the desk. With a handseal, several bottles and sake cups appeared in a puff of sealing smoke, flecks of gold glinting in the deep burgundy of their glaze.

Tsunade arched an eyebrow. "Mt. Myoboku Fire Sake? Stealing from Pa's stores, are we?" She asked as she worked the cork out of the first bottle.

"Yep," Jiraya nodded as he took the bottle and poured.

"You know... you got some nerve, showing up half a decade later instead of the two years you initially promised."

"... I'd say hunting down Akatsuki and wiping them out is a fairly compelling excuse." Jiraiya quaffed his cup whole, smacking his lips in satisfaction.

Tsunade stared, her own sake cup frozen at her mouth.

"How?"

"I made the sacrifice, and put all writing and research on hold to train that brat into the ground every waking second. Abused the shit out of his unique situation with kage bunshin. We _were_ supposed to return two years ago, but Naruto thought he's get two birds with one stone by roping the other villages and their respective jinchuuriki into the ring. Said something about doing one last favor for Sensei."

"So it all worked out, huh?"

"Amazingly enough. Kid's got some serious stones, that's for sure. He's somehow placed himself on first name basis with all all his fellow jinchuuriki, the other four kage and their favored go-to shinobi, not to mention a few fistfuls of daimyo," Jiraiya poured himself another cup.

"Even that shriveled lawn gnome?"

Jiraya tittered. "Even him. Once he saw Naruto's strength firsthand, he probably busted a hip with how fast he offered him a senior jounin position in Iwa, and all sorts of concessions. He even threw in his cute little granddaughter to go along with the house and lands... but get this. She wasn't fighting it very hard."

Tsunade's eyes widened. "No way."

"Yes way. Total tsundere, going in my next book, methinks. Once he hit his growth spurt, the ladies were just throwing themselves against the wall of his manliness. He never showed much interest, beyond normal nice-guy politeness, but it just made their maiden and not-so-maiden hearts burn even hotter."

Tsunade leaned back. "Five ryo says he's oblivious, just like his father."

Jiraya grinned.

"You're on. Anyway, after Naruto rallied the remaining jinchuriki he began the hunt for the Akatsuki. They were totally unprepared for such a united front... you should have seen the look on those cloaked bastards' faces when the bijuu-dama converged where they were making their last stand."

"And as a personal favor to his 'favorite Baa-chan', he also wiped out Oto."

One of Tsunade's eyes twitched, before a soft smile bloomed on her face. "So that was him, too?"

"Yep. Oonoki's guys, the Yonbi jinchuuriki Roshi, and the Gobi jinchuuriki Han, gave'em the gopher treatment. Roshi parked a wad of lava on every point of exit, and Han really turned the heat on and steamed the whole base harder than an old lady with a pot of dumplings. Snakeface tried to dotonjutsu himself away, but the Yondaime Kazekage crumpled him up in a little wad of gold. "Grand Imperial Funeral" technique, or something. He offered us the, uh, remains, but we had them incinerated on the spot. Hygiene and all that. He's gone for good."

"I guess that explains Anko."

Jiraya's brow creased. "Huh?"

"She came in 'round a year back babbling about paradigm shifts and a new outlook on life. She came in at the crack of dawn with her shinobi resignation papers, took one look at Iruka behind the desk, and dragged him off to see the closest priest."

"Really?! Iruka-kun?"

"Mmhmm. They moved to Suna. Iruka sends me pictures of the triplets every so often." Tsunade opened up her top drawer and fished around, then tossed a small photo album at Jiraya.

Jiraya took the offered album and opened up.

"Cute. At least Iruka-kun already had plenty of practice dealing with brats, eh?"

Tsunade laughed.

"So what's the plan, now that you've 'finished' with Naruto? Going to go back to churning out that smut again?"

"Erotica, my sweet hime, erotica," Jiraya corrected without looking up. "Well, at least that's what you can call your secret collection now. Sounds classier, doesn't it?"

"HOW-" She slapped a hand to her mouth.

Jiraya snickered.

"I can't believe I fell for that," Tsunade groaned, sinking back into her chair in defeat.

"Old tricks are the best tricks," Jiraya flashed a smile as he poured out another round. "But to answer the original question, no, I'm done with Icha-Icha. I've handed off the series to Naruto."

Tsunade grunted.

"Well... I guess all that business qualifies as a successful S-rank for both of you. I'll slap some little gold stars in the file and everything."

"Mmm," Jiraya managed as he sipped slowly. "Not that I'm saying no to more money, but me and the brat are already filthy rich from the bounties, not to mention the investments he made in Teuchi Ramen Corporation. I thought it was the dumbest thing to dump money into, but Naruto's really got the devil's luck. They're talking about diversifying into some pretty weird shit... three-inch long storm umbrellas, chakra-conductive paperclips, mail-order stilt houses..."

Jiraya trailed off, and after a long silence, tilted his curiously head and nodded towards the row of somewhat battered origami foxes that lined the front edge of the desk.

"Ever catch the killer?"

"No," Tsunade frowned as she swirled her sake.

"So who else kicked the bucket?"

"Homura and Koharu were the most prominent personages. A sprinkling of merchants and stall vendors also ate it. The suspect is very... discreet. If not for these damn foxes, there's no other evidence, substantial or insubstantial, that these deaths are attributable to anything other than natural causes or statistically unfortunate, but incredibly mundane, accidents."

"And nobody is freaking out at this... origami killer?"

Tsunade rolled her eyes. "I _would_ be more inclined to release a statement, but it's fact that both the civilians and shinobi would lay the blame on Naruto. There are paper foxes left at the crime scenes. Naruto has the Kyuubi. Beware the curse of the demon fox wooooweeeewoooo~." Tsunade waggled her fingers in the air theatrically, causing Jiraya to giggle.

"In all honestly, the trail went cold after that first year and a half. The murders occured at irregular intervals, the victims were varied in occupation, age, race, residence, and almost every other socioeconomic point, so it was impossible to establish a pattern other than 'people who live in Konoha'. In fact, its been so long since the last one... it actually slipped my mind until you brought it up."

"Mm. So what now?"

"Don't know. Kinda depends on Naruto and Hinata. And you. Maybe. Probably."

"... Oh?"

"I'm not going to lie to you Jiraya. I've come to truly loathe this village. Sensei always went on and on about the 'Will of Fire' stuff, and I bought it for a long time, I mean, we were born and raised here, right? Even after Dan and Nawaki... Anyway, after sitting in a first row seat and watching Naruto and Hinata get railroaded by their superiors, peers, the council, and in the girl's case, her own family, that... that really took the last of the wind out of my sails. This is not the village Hashirama-jiji and Tobirama-oji founded, and even further from being the one they'd dreamed of."

Tsunade sighed and listlessly slid her empty saucer back on the desk.

"Contemplating retirement?"

"Maybe. While the two of you have been gallivanting around the Elemental Nations, I had little pleasurable company beyond Shizune and Hinata; after a time, even Shizune drifted away. I've dawdled here, in the meager hope my proximity could save the Hyuuga girl from an arranged marriage to some random jackass. And apparently now I've failed at that too."

Jiraya gave her a wolfish grin while wagging his eyebrows. "Time for the Gallant Jiraya to come to the rescue of his beloved Hime-sama!"

Tsunade snorted. "You talk the talk, but can you walk the walk?"

Jiraya's eyes widened, "Are you saying yes to a date?"

"Am I? Is this a dream?"

Before their flirting could progress any further, a red toad clutching a scroll appeared in a little puff of smoke.

"Jiraya-sama, Naruto-sama has a message for you." The toad spit up a small scroll and handed it to Jiraya.

Jiraya took the scroll in curiosity. His hands shook as he read.

Tsunade arched an eyebrow as Jiraya quickly penned a response, before tersely rolling it up and tossing it at the messenger toad. The toad gave him a strange grimace before dismissing himself.

She knew that look.

"Well?"

Jiraya finally lost control and burst into a horrible horse laugh, tears streaming down his cheeks. Tsunade watched flatly as he started choking and snorting, and finally caught his breath again.

"He asked me what Hinata meant when she said she was going to 'show him her nurse outfit'. He wanted to know if it was code for taijutsu or ninjutsu sparring, because 'No just no on genjutsu ero-sennin!'"

Tsunade spit out her sake and began laughing as well. "Oh, kami," she gasped.

"I've got to write this down. This is perfect for the book!" Jiraya scribbled in his notebook.

"Probably not a good idea," Tsunade warned between heaving laughter.

"Why the hell not?" Jiraya whined.

"Because you don't to experience the wrong end of Hinata's Gentle Fist when its powered with my strength technique," She blew out a short breath, tears squeezing out of her amber eyes.

Jiraya visibly paled as Tsunade stood up from her desk. He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Well, only fair you taught it to her seeing as how I taught the brat everything I knew. Doesn't that make it the 'Not-So-Gentle-Fist' then?"

Tsunade beckoned to Jiraya. "Come on. I'm in the mood to celebrate."

"Will you show me _your_ nurse outfit?"

"We'll see. Maybe I don't even _have_ a nurse outfit."

With a smile that put the sun to shame, Jiraya held his arm out. Tsunade hooked her hand into the crook of his elbow before they both walked out of the office.

* * *

Tsunade stared at what remained of Team 7.

Sakura was slumped against a tree, a very statuesque Fire Country oak. Her hands were two meters away, still clapsed together in a snake seal for some now-unconsummated genjutsu.

The kunoichi had gone into shock when her hands were neatly lopped off and died shortly thereafter of blood loss.

Kiba was on the opposite side of the clearing, face down in a pool of his own vomit. His skin was milky white, every surface vein bulging angry and blue. A single crossbow bolt protruded out of his knee, sunk down to the haft. Akamaru was nowhere to be seen.

The Inuzuka heir had succumbed to what was obviously a virulent poison. Toxin? Venom? The lab monkeys could puzzle it out.

Sasuke laid on his back. There were yawning, moist red chasms of meat where his eyes had been and the remaining scraps of his optic nerves gave all indications a chakra-infused flash bomb of some sort had been used. His prized sword arm was resting on a rotting tree stump some five meters away.

One could surmise that the Uchiha had engaged his enemy in a kenjutsu battle and tried to use the Sharingan to gain the upperhand. Whoever fought against him anticipated this and turned his Sharingan against him.

It seemd that Kakashi lost his head. Literally. The copy-nin's headless corpse lay crumpled near the campfire, still partially curled in a slouch from where he'd been poking at the fire with the stick still in his gloved hand. Was it art, how his head had been so neatly severed? Tsunade couldn't slice a loaf of bread half as well if her life depended on it.

She had no doubt Kakashi's killer had used the same method to disrupt him as was done to Sasuke.

"Report," Tsunade barked, as Ibiki appeared in a silent shunshin behind her.

"Preliminary analysis of the immediate environment suggests Team 7 was eliminated quickly and efficiently."

Tsunade nodded. The surrounding forest remained untouched from the otherwise gruesome violence of the campsite. Ibiki continued.

"Jounin Hatake was most likely to have been the first to be eliminated, being the greatest combat threat; the location and position of his body matches standard operating procedure for ANBU alert sentry distance. Given Team 7's mission records, we believe all members of the team were engaged suddenly and simultaneously by multiple attackers to prevent cohesive defensive measures."

"Conclusions?"

"The efficiency of Team 7's elimination indicates highly skilled and well informed operatives. The enemy plan of engagement displayed knowledge of Team 7's individual strengths and weaknesses, and left nothing to chance. There are no signs of torture or indications of mutilation, so revenge motives are unlikely. The funds from the Fire Damiyo the team was assigned to deliver are missing, the bounty on Hatake's... missing... head is considerable, and I am certain there are still outstanding bounties for the relevant kekkei genkai samples... and there's a strong possibility all three Sharingan are still viable."

Tsunade pinched her brows. "So we can assume this is, for all intents and purposes, a robbery."

Ibiki shifted uncomfortably. "All signs point to that, yes."

"Estimated strength of attackers?"

"Considering Hatake's ANBU and conventional corps experience, and the younger three jounin of the team, we estimate the enemy strength to a minimum of seven to eight well-coordinated senior jounin, or a single ANBU assassination specialty cell."

"Extensive premeditation and access to both personnel records and critical mission information. Order another security sweep of the Tower, and another round of mind probes at ANBU headquarters. I want it done yesterday. You're dismissed, thank you."

Ibiki nodded and disappeared in a swirl of leaves.

Tsunade's gaze shifted to the approaching Hinata. The harsh lines of the Caged Bird seal on her brow were an ugly contrast to the nobly bred elegance of her gait. It had take a few months, give or take, but Tsunade had beaten the indecisive shyness out of the girl. There was no room for hesitation in when it came to healing; all it took was a split second, the barest waver, to lose a patient's life or limb.

"Shishou," Hinata called out. "ANBU told me they've concluded their investigation. Do you wish for the deceased to be sent to the morgue now? There will be extra paperwork for Hatake-san and Uchiha-san, I suppose the office of the Hokage must make funeral arrangements for them as they've no listed next-of-kin..."

Tsunade nodded, "Thanks Hinata, you've always got the difficult jobs."

"Oh, no, shishou... _you_ have the hardest job," Hinata replied absent mindedly as she scribbled on her clipboard, frowning, before crossing something out and scribbling in the margins.

"How so?"

"You have to tell the Council."

"I'll see you back at the Tower, shishou," Hinata smiled too sweetly as she gave a jaunty little wave before leaping into the trees back to Konoha, leaving her gobsmacked Godaime in her wake.

As Tsunade began to follow her back to Konoha, she made a little mental note to ask Jiraya to check if there had been a recent rash of jounin or ANBU going rogue. Barko's Razor? Marco's Razor? Hockham's Razor? Whatever. Team 7 had more than it's share of irritating personalities, and some saintly ANBU may have defected from their villages to relieve her of the burden.

A flash of red halted Tsunade to stop on the next branch. In the tree was a tiny knothole that faced the direction she had just come from.

An origami fox stared past her, svelte in a silvery red foil paper.

 _Double shit._

* * *

"You still haven't told anyone?" Jiraya asked as he brought the saucer up to his mouth.

"No," came the muffled answer. She had her bare feet up on the desk, heeled sandals splayed underneath, and the Hokage hat laying flat on her face as she leaned as far back as the chair would allow.

"Council gave you hell for it anyway, huh?"

"Yep."

That was true. So very, very, painfully true. Tsunade caught a load of flak for the loss of Team 7, nevermind the fact it was a team of four jounin who had probably just wanted a bit of easy C-rank money. Deliver a few not-very-essential scrolls and minor funds for the Fire Daimyo? Jounin could do that hogtied in their sleep. The council had grilled her for hours, and blamed her for the 'permanent loss of one of Konoha's greatest weapons' and the deaths of 'outstanding and irreplaceable members of the Shinobi Corps.' They had finally dismissed (Dismissed! A Hokage!) her in order to plan for a lavish combined funeral. There were talks of a statue. At public expense of course.

"Do you even care anymore?"

"Nope."

"So...What now?"

Tsunade gave a weak shrug as they both smouldered in the silence and late noon sunlight from the wide window bay.

"What now? I'll tell you what now," Tsunade sat up in her chair. "Did you know Naruto is over at the Hyuuga Compound right now?"

"What's the brat up to?"

"He's going to try to convince Hiashi to let him marry Hinata." Jiraya raised an eyebrow.

"Fat chance. Hiashi won't give his permission to someone lacking an official shinobi record or clan pedigree. That's piled on top of the legal status of the Inuzuka boy as her marriage contract holder."

"I told him as much. But you know how cheeky our little brat is."

Jiraya chuckled, "Well, he certainly has the balls if he is going to ask during the Senbon Sparring Ritual."

"That's... today?"

"Apparently." He glanced at the clock. "They should be through beating the stuffing out of all the Main House trainees right about no-"

A muffled rumble followed by an earthquake-like tremor cut off whatever the Toad Sannin had to say.

Tsunade sat up in alarm, swatting the Hokage hat off her in alarm as she jammed her sandals back on her feet.

The door to the office burst open and Shizune entered, frantic. "Tsunade-sama, Jiraya-sama, there has been a large explosion at the Hyuuga Compound!"

The two Sannin shared a grimace before making a break for the closest window.

"Shizune! Head to the hospital and prep for intake!" She yelled back as she leapt out to the closest roof top.

* * *

"A dust explosion," Jiraya repeated, nonplussed.

The council stared at the scarred jounin in similar degrees of disbelief.

Ibiki nodded, "Affirmative."

"Has a cause been determined?"

"The clan head Hyuuga Hiashi had ordered his heir designate Hyuuga Neji and secondary heir Hyuuga Hanabi to perform a clan hidenjutsu, Kaiten, for as long as possible as a demonstration of the performers' Juuken mastery. The nature of the prolonged action resulted in the dojo dust reaching high airborne density... as for ignition sources, several clan elders are known for indulging frequently in smoking tobacco, so one or more of the kiseru pipes found on-scene are likely, as no other open-flame sources were found."

"Explain how you reached this conclusion." Danzo ordered.

"We conducted a thorough check of the Hyuuga compound; the areas immediate to the initial detonation, followed by the remainder of the grounds. We found no instances of foreign chakra, suspect or otherwise, indicative of any combination of explosive seals, latent jutsu, or conventional chemical explosives and incendiaries. The physical evidence of the explosion is consistent with the testimony of the eyewitnesses."

"And who are these eyewitnesses?"

"Hyuuga Hinata and Uzumaki Naruto."

The room stirred and whispering arose. Deep in one pocket, Tsunade unconsciously fingered the singed yellow origami fox Hinata had given her.

"The girl is understandable, but why was _he_ at the Hyuuga Compound?" Danzo demanded.

"According to Uzumaki, he was seeking permission from the Hyuuga clan head to marry his elder daughter, Hinata, despite knowledge of her marriage contract already having been purchased." Several amongst the clan leaders scoffed. Naruto was essentially a clanless civilian, nevermind his dishonorable discharge and demonic tenant. And he still dared to ask for the hand of a clan head's daughter? Absolutely unthinkable.

"And there is not a single piece of evidence incriminating him?"

"There is not. He submitted himself for a Yamanaka memory viewing after providing his testimony at the hospital. Inoichi-san confirms his innocence."

"How many did we lose?" Tsunade interrupted before any more doubts could be aired.

"All one hundred and thirty two members of the Main House were present for the demonstration. Those seventy eight Main House members caught in the immediate vicinity of the detonation zone died instantly."

"And those outside of the immediate zone?" Shikaku asked.

"Forty of the remaining fifty four died of various internal trauma caused by the blast."

"This is a disaster!" Someone whispered.

Ibiki continued, "The remaining fourteen suffer varying degrees of injuries... but while escaping the blast itself, the pressure shockwave ruptured their eyes, shredded the attached optic nerves, and irreversibly ruined both their tympanic membranes and inner ears. The surviving remainder of the Hyuuga Main House will require assisted care for the rest of their natural lives. They will never be shinobi again."

"How awful. But what of the Branch family?" Chouza asked.

"Our investigation has revealed that the Branch House members are considered inferior by their Main House relatives, and tradition thusly forbids they and non-Hyuuga from attending many clan festivals, this one included. Ironically all Branch House members are safe and accounted for."

"So why were Hyuuga Hinata and Uzumaki admitted to the gathering at all if the Branch House and outsiders are forbidden?"

"Because I used my leverage as the daughter of the clan head to gain admittance," a voice rang out.

The gathered clan heads and council elders turned to see Hyuuga Hinata entering the room, followed by an elderly Hyuuga who teetered after her with a scane.

"These preliminary reports state you witnessed the explosion. How can you possibly be uninjured, girl?" Danzo demanded.

"Naruto-kun shielded me from the blast itself," Hinata said softly, wringing her pale hands. "It is only thanks to him that I survived without any injuries." Which was the truth, if not all of it. Hinata had noticed a little origami fox, done up in a child's rough construction paper, at the foot of the exit. The dust had detonated at the moment she kneeled to pick it up.

Tsunade interrupted the pseudo-interrogation with a question of her own. "Hinata, who is the gentleman next to you?"

"This is my great-uncle three times removed, Hyuuga Satoshi, the newly chosen head of the Hyuuga clan." The old man bowed.

Danzo smiled "Welcome to the Council, then, Satoshi-sama. We have much to discuss in regards to the future participation of the Hyuuga in Konoha. Of course, there will be a time when-"

The old man held up a liver-spotted hand. "I'm afraid, Hokage-sama, the future of the Hyuuga no longer lies with Konohagakure."

Amongst the offended, murmers of his fellow councilmembers, Danzo went stiff. "How dare you? After what the village has done for-"

Satoshi interrupted Danzo with a sharp rap of his cane.

"Tell me, honored councilor, where was Konoha when the Branch House protested the Main House's use of the seal in minor transgressions? Where else in Konoha would one be so harshly punished on the whims of another for simply comporting oneself displeasingly? For serving rice that is slightly too hot? For grinding writing ink a little too thinly?"

Silence. Satoshi raised his voice.

"Where was Konoha when the Branch House was sent forth as cannon fodder during the Third Secret War? We were sent, man, woman, and child, in lieu of the services of our Main House kin."

People shifted uncomfortably. Again he raised his voice.

"Where was Konoha when a Main House elder raped and killed my wife? He raped her for years, and all I could do for her was bring her moon tea, and join her as she wept in the dark."

Here and there, the muted sharp intake of breath amongst the council, but the man continued

"Councilor, just as Konoha abandoned us in our many, many times of need, we have chosen, this day, to turn our back on Konoha. We will take our precious children, and build a new future elsewhere. Good day. Come, sweet child, there is much to be done."

Without another word, the old man turned around and hobbled out of the room. Hinata gave a slight bow before hurrying to catch up to her new clan head.

Tsunade felt the throbbing of what promised to be a massive headache. _This day cannot get worse._

She was wrong. That bandage-riddled asshole stood suddenly, smoothing down some invisible wrinkle in his kimono's collar.

"In light of ongoing events and repeated failure to uphold the office of Hokage, I call for a vote of no confidence."

Tsunade stared out at the council, mute. She felt like she was watching herself in a bizzare play, like a little Tsunade-balloon ghost floating above a Tsunade-doll in a doll-sized diorama of Konohagakure's Council Chambers.

"All in favor, please raise your hand."

Tsunade looked around.

One by one the clan heads raised their hand with the except of the Aburame clan head, who crossed his arms and looked on with mute disapproval. The civilian councilors all raised their hands as well.

"Very well, the measure passes. Senju Tsunade, you are hereby dismissed from the position of Hokage. We thank you for your service. You have three days to vacate your office."

Tsunade nodded numbly and left the chambers.

* * *

The new spread quickly.

As Tsunade walked down Konoha's central avenue in the pale wake of dawn, she could hear the haze of whispers and the heat of angry staring eyes on her back as she slowly made her way towards the village gates.

She'd felt empty, hollow, before, but never so utterly void. How on earth had she let poor Naruto grow up with this feeling, for years and years?

The previous night, she had packed all her possessions with medical precision, and sealed the resulting boxes away in a single standard storage scroll that lay snug in her pack. And when she awoke at daybreak, all she had to do was slip on her clothes and travel pack, before stepping out of the Hokage Manor one last time, to start putting as much permanent distance as possible between herself and the corrupt village of her birth.

The chuunin on guard at least a deep bow as she finally slipped out the village gates, and continued down the road. She was unprepared for what was waiting for her at the crossroad.

Jiraya, Naruto, and Hinata were standing around in a closed circle underneath the sign post.

As Tsunade stepped towards them she could hear snippets of conversation.

"-Shibi and the rest of his clan have met up with old Satoshi, said they're gonna make camp he-

"-ock Lee and Tenten will join-"

"-biki and Shizune are going to visit Anko fir-"

Naruto was the first to notice. "Baa-chan ,you are soooo slow! We've been out here all morning just waiting!" he whined.

"Don't be like that Naruto-kun. I'm sure she just wanted to see a little of Konoha one last time. Isn't that right, shishou?" Hinata smiled gently, with a twinkle in her eye.

"You guys..." Tsunade fought against the tears.

"Come on Hime, lets go home," Jiraya held his arm out, wearing his stupid old grin.

"Home?" Tsunade asked hollowly.

"Yep. I got a place all picked out for us. Has a nice view of a whole valley. Would you like to see it?"

"Yes...Yes I would," Tsunade felt a huge weight lifted off her shoulders as she wrapped her arm around Jiraya's.

Hinata swept her hand past the sign post that led to Konoha and captured Naruto's hand in her own.

"You ready to go Naruto-kun?" She asked shyly.

"Of course! Lets move out!"

* * *

Danzo smiled as he slipped the wide Hokage hat on. He looked at himself in the mirror, something close to pride welling up.

Using the Kotoamatsukami on the council to force Tsunade's resignation might have been overkill after all the politicking he had done to turn them against her, but better safe than sorry. It was good they had found willing "donors" to matched his original eye and arm.

Danzo scratched at the phantom pain in his new arm.

Some of the council members had argued against letting the Aburame and the Hyuuga clan remnant leave, but Danzo brushed them off. He had already pulled his Aburame and Hyuuga ROOT operatives from their existing assignments. Once all of the ruckus fron the departing clans died down, he would free to breed the two bloodlines as he wished.

Yes. He had all the time in the world to shape Konoha into the military juggernaut it should have been from the begi-

 _Why do I smell methane gas?_

As if to answer his questions, a ROOT ANBU materialized behind him.

"Hokage-sama, the domestic gas utility distributor is reporting a cascading failure in their distribution systems. All gas mains have opened to vent excess pressure. The cause is unknown, but they're sending a technician to check the valves and corresponding piping in the Tower. Repair estimate after arrival is fifteen minutes."

"Issue a village wide-alert immediately. Shut down the electrical grid and inform all civilians to stay indoors until further notification," Danzo barked.

"By your will, Hokage-sama." The ANBU disappeared in a shunshin.

A simple domestic emergency. Yes. Once dealt with, he could begin the next stage of Konoha's re-ascension to supremacy.

* * *

"The gas valvue should be behind this door. Gimme a second to find the right key," a muffled voice said. "Sorry about the mess. The new Hokage wants all these failed military prototypes junked, so we've nowhere to put them while the chuunin ferry them to the junkyard."

The aide fumbled through the massive keyring, one key after another, until one finally fit in the lock of the utility closet smoothly, and turned once, twice.

The door swung open on its spring-loaded joint, slamming into an adjacent faulty shuriken thrower prototype, tipping it over even as it spit out a few rusty star shuriken straight up.

Honed by years of off-duty training, the aide instinctively brought up a kunai to deflect one of the incoming weapons

"NO!" The jounin behind him shouted, too late. The chuunin aide's eyes went wide.

With a dull ping, metal against metal, a single spark danced out...

* * *

The first blast blew the roof off of the Hokage Tower. Glossy red tiles showered onto the surrounding streets.

A wall of fire exploded outwards, snaking through the streets and consuming everything in its path.

The civilians had diligently heeded the Hokage's emergency order and were now trapped in their own homes; their waning cries for aid going unanswered.

The shinobi forces fared little better. Many were out on the streets and rooftops enforcing the village-wide house arrest, and were caught out in the open as the expanding firestorm consumed them.

Konoha, considered the strongest of the five greatest villages, only needed until sundown to burn down to only a fine layer of ashes amd ghosts.

* * *

"Hinata, what've you been doing with your hand?" Tsunade asked absent-mindedly over the restaraunt table. Beside them, Naruto and Jiraya bickered over what to order in front of an increasingly impatient chef.

"Just a little bit of practice, shishou," Hinata smiled and held out a slim hand.

A little orange paper fox stared up at a stunned Tsunade.

"A very kind lady once told me once that sometimes, you have to make your own happiness," Hinata took out another sheet of paper from a pouch and began folding again. "However, I came to think if we love someone enough, we should do everything we can to help them find happiness, too. Right, shishou?"

* * *

 **Fin.**

Special thanks to char_custom for beta-ing and putting up with my bullshit and bitching. R&R please.


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